Tonight Passover starts, which I didn’t know until only about 20 minutes ago. I could lay the fault down our lunar calendar (normally it's later in April), but really, I'm just a lousy Jew.

No bar mitzvah, I don't go to temple on the major holidays, and I don't pick up pennies I see on the ground. Maybe a dime though, but that's just because dimes are practical.

Since I couldn’t possibly make God any more upset with me, I've dropped the whole leavened bread fast years ago. It's not a lack of Jewish guidance, since I went to Hebrew school, it's also not a matter of self control, since I did it when I was younger and I had way less self control back than, I just don’t think doing something just because your Jewish means you should do it. There should be a spiritual belief, not just pressure from your family. I still attend the Passover Seder, but it’s not a religious event to me, just dinner.

My families more observant about the stuff than I am, I have just never been too interested in any of it; the only thing that makes me feel remotely Jewish and connects me to the religion is my nose.

Bottom Line, I've just decided I don't really care about God's feelings unless it's to my advantage or I live near a volcano.